Jokes Thread

[prashanthpai]

How do you know that you are getting older ?

You know you're getting old when it takes you all night,

to do what you used to do all night !!

[jocker]

I did my best to translate this joke, so enjoy...

Two nuns went into the woods one afternoon. One was called Sister Mathematics, because of her sharpened sense for mathematics, and the other one was called Sister Logic because she was very logical.

It started to get dark and they were away from the monastery.

SM: Did you notice that man behind us, it looks like he is following us. God knows what he wants from us;
SL: Well he wants to catch us and do the only logical thing to us;
SM: Oh no, at this distance he will catch us in less than 15 minutes. What shall we do?
SL: The only logical thing: let’s walk faster;
SM: But this does not help;
SL: Of course it does not help. He will do the only logical thing – and he will walk faster;
SM: Oh, what can we do, at this distance he will reach us in less than 10 minutes;
SL: The only logical thing that we can do is to separate. He can not follow us both;

The man decided to follow Sister Logic. Sister Mathematics successfully reached to the monastery, but she was worried about Sister Logic.
Soon Sister Logic showed up in the monastery.

SM: Sister Logic… thank you Dear God. Quick tell me what happened;
SL: Well the only logical thing happened, he could not follow us both, and so he chose me;
SM: I already know that (with jealous in her voice), what happened after that;
SL: The only logical thing: he catched me;
SM: Oh no, what did you do;
SL: Logically – I pull up my skirt;
SM: Oh no, My God, what did he do;
SL: The only logical thing – he put down his pants;
SM: And than what happened;
SL: Well that is logical – Sister with pull up skirt can run faster than a man with his pants down.


Shame on you who though something else…

Have a nice day

[Mark]

I believe that joke was already posted but none the less.. still a funny joke :P

[jocker]

Sorry Bill, I'd rather kiss my new boss.


The more you look at it, the funnier it gets....


[url=http://www.freeimagehosting.net/]

[aish20april]

haha That was a Nice joke, jocker!

[DkRay]

Haha, mean no offensde but this is really good
#
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach ," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... the @$$hole is usually in charge.

#

Here's another 1,

#
A large, well-established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.

The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjack's door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.

"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack.

"Take your axe and go cut it down."

The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the man.

The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.

"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"
#

[rnbv424140]

that's one wicked lumberjack. maybe hes kryptonian like superman

[jocker]

And God created Adam....

And Adam lived happily.... But in time Adam felt like something is not right, like something is missing.... So he went back to God to see if there is something He can do about it....

God said to Adam, I'll create a wonderful creature for you... It will be so perfect that it will be smart and intelligent, it will clean for you, it will cook for you, it will look after you, it will talk to you and you will never argue.... But it will cost you an arm and a leg....

Adam thinked for a minute and said... What can I get for a rib...

[Polkadot]

One Sunday morning, an elderly couple goes to church. About half way through the service, the woman leans over to her spouse and whispers "I just let out a silent fart. It's starting to stink really bad, and I don't know what to do." The husband replies "First of all, my dear, you need to change the batteries in your hearing aid!"

[aish20april]

Nice One!!