Poor Jokes Thread

[Saint]

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 : )


Dear Tech Support Team:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as Bachelor Nights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, Beer With Buddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"

REPLY

Dear Troubled User:


This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 .

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Dresses 2.1 and Jewelery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support ...

[omar]

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Dresses 2.1 and Jewelery 5.0

I completely agree with this recommendation...

Even if the system is OK...From time to time...We need programs such as (Dresses 2.1 and Jewelery 5.0)
to make the operating system more stable.

My experience with this software(Wife 1.0) extending from 2006 till now.

[ted]

Struggling to find work?
Buy a Sat-Nav.

My girlfriend is leaving me because I've got alopecia.
oh well it's hair loss.

I just scratched at a mole until it bled.
That should teach the little f**ker not to mess up my lawn.

[Saint]

That is one point that the joke miss that wife 1.0 comes with lifetime validity (compulsory) till it crash or you have to spend 1 million times more money than getting rid of Norton

[ted]

Walking down the condiment aisle in Tesco's today,

couldn't believe it, found some vegetable dressing,

that's disgusting, I thought.

where the f*cks his guardian.

[A Guy]

You know, Facebook is like prison.

You sit around staring at walls, killing time. And getting hugs from people you don't know.

A Guy

[ted]

As I grabbed my cock and held it firmly in my hands I thought to myself 'this is going to get messy.' I grabbed the nearest sharp implement, my cleaver, and chopped at the head hard. As mangled as it was it refused to come off. I clenched my cleaver harder and swung with a mighty swing, chopping the head clean off with dark red blood spurting everywhere, just veins and arteries were left hanging from the core.

Anyway, I hate my job as a poultry farmer.

---------- Post added at 02:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:47 AM ----------

No rest for the wicked.

probably why I've got insomnia I suppose



My mum never let me play with scissors when I was younger.

I could only use rock or paper.

---------- Post added at 02:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:05 AM ----------

Puppies all look cute and act adorable.

But has anyone ever investigated their repeated involvement in child abduction cases?